I have failed miserably this week.
On Sunday my husband and I did our monthly budget and realized we were short for the month. On Monday, upset about the night before I spent way too much time working during the day. The night ended with a messy house, throwing up babies, a long night with a fussy newborn, and a new morning too exhausted to move but feeling the overwhelming stress welling within me pouring over into anxieties that I often fear I cannot control.
It was a bittersweet irony as I had been meditating on this yesterday afternoon after being both inspired and convicted by Amy Carmichael’s “If”. The Lord knew that I needed a more substantial illustration than my little nibble I was content with chewing the day before.
I write this with a sick baby in my lap, and maybe you are reading it with a fussy child in yours. We are kindred spirits, Friend.
You and I, we are not alone. There are many who have gone before us; there are many who have failed. There are many who have succeeded. True success, however, only lies at the foot of the cross where the Lord’s love and mercy abound.
The 10 “If’s” When Motherhood Feels Too Hard
If I myself begin my day in a poor mood, and yet expect my children to behave better than my own example, then I know nothing of Christ’s love.
If a simple cup of spilled milk causes me to rage, then I know nothing of Christ’s love.
If I say I love my children, but only show impatience when they ask me a question, I know nothing of Christ’s love.
If I can only speak unpleasant words about my children in the presence of others whether it be truth or in jest, I know nothing of Christ’s love.
If I spend my days in ministry to others, but do not minister to my own children, I know nothing of Christ’s love.
If I treasure my own “me” time above time spent in the arms of my children, then I know nothing of Christ’s love.
If I spend my days suffering in trials outside my home, but do not find comfort and joy in my family, I know nothing of Christ’s love.
If I fail to share the Gospel with my children even though I offer them the world, I know nothing of Christ’s love.
If I choose to pray for my own needs and not for the needs of my children, I know nothing of Christ’s love.
If I see all of the missed opportunities for hugs, kisses, and talks with my children and yet do nothing to change it, I know nothing of Christ’s love.
Please, Lord, give me a love for the duties of motherhood and a passion for the hearts you have given me to hold for such a short time.
It is but a breath.
To My Fellow Mother
These words are my own convictions, but maybe they are yours as well.
As mothers we deal with a lot day in and day out and sometimes it becomes so overwhelming that we do one of two things, we either shut down and retreat or we explode and let everyone feel the amount of anxiety that we feel at that moment. The latter is sadly my specialty.
I tend to let my anxieties, whether it be stress about finances, the house not being clean, or even the behavior of my children effect how I act as a wife and mommy. This is not okay.
There is grace at the cross for us. We do not sin so that grace may abound, but it is so important as mothers that we realize our shortcomings, confess them and turn from them. If you are in Christ, the Holy Spirit will produce in you the will to fight against these tendencies. Christ’s love will come forth and we will be able to see a notable difference in our days and in the depths of our minds even where those anxieties exist.
We are far from super women, we might resemble June Cleaver on a really good day, but we all know what is lurking beneath …. a sinner in need of a Savior. Turn to your children and ask them for their forgiveness. Turn to Christ and ask Him for a heart and mind that trusts in Him.
Sometimes we need to lose a little pride, to build a deeper relationship with those we love and to grow in faith.
Do you struggle as a mother to control your anxieties, and not project them on the children?
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