“There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 12:18
We had our monthly women’s Bible study last night. We were talking about taming the tongue. One lady mentioned how women take so much care about what goes into their mouths but so little care concerning what comes out. We are so worried about our figures and our health, but we rarely take account if our speech is loving or edifying.
This verse in particular is the one that God brought home to my heart with conviction. You see I am too often not kind to my children with my words. I say “no” a lot, more than I should. I yell. I am impatient. I have not been appreciating my children for the blessing that they are from the hand of God. I have not been caring for them with my words behind the closed doors of our home in the same way that I do in public. I realize that this only teaches my children the fine art of hypocrisy, and it only pushes them away from me rather than drawing them closer to me. My husband and I are their first glimpse of the person and character of God, as we are their God-given authority on this earth. I have not been Christ to them, feeding their souls with God’s Word as I should and edifying them daily as I know the Lord would have me. I have failed.
To Moms Like Me
In Proverbs 12:18 it says that words spoken rashly are like sword thrusts stabbing the person to whom the words are spoken. Moms, when we speak without thought impatient, unkind, frustrated words to our children we might as well be stabbing them. The wounds we leave as parents can be deeper than most any other thing because we are their world and we hold all their trust. It is not just an offense against our children when we do this, but it is a sin against God.
There is restoration and hope though for mothers like me, and maybe like you, who have struggled with this sin. “The tongue of the wise brings healing.”
“But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man.” Matthew 15:18
All those things I say to my children in frustration, only reveals what is in my heart. What is in my heart is wickedness, anger, selfishness, pride. This is my problem and I must deal with it immediately. Once we realize our sin it is a sin in and of itself to let it sit and fester. It must be cut out.
James says that the tongue cannot be tamed (James 3:8), but Romans says that if we are in Christ we are slave to no sin (Romans 6:18). There must be middle ground here somewhere and I believe the two roads meet at the Holy Spirit. We cannot tame our tongues. I find myself chronically repenting for this sin of not being the mother I know I ought to be. Where we must daily take up the cross of Christ and trust Him for our sanctification, I find that my chronic re-commitment to not commit this sin, is due to the fact that I have not been relying on Christ to cut it from my heart. I have been trying to do this in my own strength which is exactly why I fail in it so often. It only uncovers the depths of my own wickedness and my need for my Savior.
Hope and the Holy Spirit
“Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips.” Psalm 141:3
“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.” Psalm 19:14
These should be our prayers daily. That the Lord would guard our mouths and that the meditation of our hearts would be acceptable in His sight because the two go hand in hand. What comes out of our mouths reflects the state of our hearts. If we are not meeting with the Lord daily in reading and prayer how can we expect that the meditation of our hearts and therefore our speech would be acceptable to Him. The Lord sanctifies us when we meet with Him.
I have noticed in my own life that when I am off trying to do things in my own strength and not depending on the Lord, sanctification seems to be much more harsh and miserable. When I am being sanctified in His presence, there is a sweetness to it because there is not bitterness in my heart against being made more like Christ. We should welcome sanctification because it is first, glorifying to God to make us more like His Son, and it is secondly for our good. Stand in His presence and welcome the Lord to cut those things out of your heart that make it so ugly.
Of Eternal Importance
As mom’s we have so much on our plates. Keeping house, shopping for groceries, feeding all the little (and big) mouths, kissing boo-boos, homeschooling, and some even run a business from home all at the same time. This is hard work and not for the faint of heart. Sometimes it is difficult to fit in your Bible time around all those other responsibilities. Sometimes it takes just a little too long to make Bible time out of common events during your day with the kids. We must remember that even though math, phonics, and play are important for children, nothing should be as much of a priority as sharing the Gospel with our children. They can be Einstein but if they do not know Christ then they will die and go to Hell. We cannot save them, but we can make the ground fertile for the Holy Spirit to come and reveal God’s Word to them in His timing. We will be held accountable for this ourselves by God. This is an eternally important truth.
I am thinking of instituting a “Yes” Day in our home once a month. This would be a day where I focus on not saying “no” to the children for an entire day. I feel like I do it so often and I really think that this would be a fun way to just have a crazy day because I have small kids and I could see them asking to go places and do funny things. It would help me to relax and be something exciting for them to look forward to. I will be sure to return and report about our day!
I am also going to be focusing on how often I speak of heavenly things to my children. Myself and Jenn from ThePurposefulMom.com just came out with a new book entitled, Filling Hearts While Cleaning Homes: Five Minute Devotionals for Families. It is meant to make cleaning the house with young children a time for teaching spiritual things as well as practical life skills. The devotions are short but can open up the discussion for deeper conversation during family Bible time. I am going to be doing these with my own children in the coming months as well as reviewing The ABC’s for Godly Children which I have spoken of in the past focusing on Godly Character for both boys and girls as well as doctrine and theology. I have not been doing my best in these areas and often using a curriculum of sorts to help you strategically add it in is helpful.
A Challenge to Heal
Moms, I know we all screw up pretty often. It is not okay to lick our wounds by admitting that we are all going through the same things and struggling with the same sins. We all are, but we are all also sinners. These sins must be cut out. Cling to Christ and not to your sin. Cling to Christ and he will set a guard over your mouth so that you are not tearing down your children, but building them up. Lay yourself at the foot of the cross and do not think that you can do this in your own strength. You are your child’s first glimpse of Christ. Do not mar that view by making it one of hypocrisy and selfishness. God is so good and will help you heal the wounds you have left in your children.
“The tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 12:18
All of those sword thrusts your rash words caused can be healed with wise words. Scars can sometimes be left but the healing balm of the love of Christ can heal even the most broken of situations. Trust Christ for your healing words.
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